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If the thought of anal sex gives you the urge to break out into your very own rendition of “I’d Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That),” you’re not alone.

Maybe you’re concerned that being labeled the “up-the-butt girl” will somehow ruin your marriage prospects (à la Sex and the City’s Charlotte), or perhaps you just can’t shake the stigma associated with enjoying being on the receiving end of anal play as a heterosexual man.

Regardless of your feelings about this particular sex act, know this: People are engaging in some type of anal sex, and it’s not just penetration—there’s also anal fingering, using butt plugs and anal beads, prostate massage, and analingus (that’s oral sex performed on an anus).

So if you’re thinking of inviting someone to slip through your backdoor for the first time, or if you’re evaluating a partner’s request for you to punch their starfish (there are a lot of unexpected euphemisms for anal sex!), then the final episode of Rewire News Group’s You Deserve Good Sex series is for you.

From reiterating the importance of lube to addressing the question on everyone’s mind (hint: It starts with the letter “P”), sex educator Cassandra Corrado breaks down the simple rules of anal play so you can have the good sex you deserve. And if you do decide to go forth and lose your anal virginity, heed the advice of Frankie Goes to Hollywood—just relax.

To get started on your journey, you might also want to check out our guide about picking the right sex toy.