As Utah’s new three-day “we-will-make-you-suffer” waiting period before abortion goes into effect, reproductive rights advocates worry about access, and anti-choice politicians congratulate themselves on “protecting women” from making “hasty decisions.”

But one columnist thinks that the idea is not only fantastic, but should be applied to everything. And he means everything.

Via The Salt Lake Tribune:

I do like mandatory 72-hour waiting periods. This is a religious position. I have an unshakable faith that people are morons — including you and me. But especially you.

…

Why shouldn’t you have to wait 72 hours before getting drunk or high? Lots of really bad decisions get made when you’re hammered, so it’s only fair that you sign a letter of intent, then sit in a room for three days before being served.

I also think you should have to wait 72 hours before going to church every week. Church is a deeply personal matter, but it’s often where one’s view of the world is reinforced to the extent that it becomes imperative to impose it on everyone else.

From eating out to buying lottery tickets, it’s a tongue and cheek look at handful of excuses that make no more sense than forcing a woman to wait 72-hours to make a decision she’s already spent quite some time examining before she ever even called a doctor.