#Livetweetingabortion – A Real Abortion Experience on the Internet
So much is done in silence, but Angie broke that silence when she decided to #livetweetabortion and demystify the process.
When I learned last October that my second pregnancy had ended and that I would need either to wait for my body to eventually reject the fetus and miscarry on its own (something it hadn’t done in the prior three weeks, and something it showed no signs of doing anytime soon), or undergo medical intervention, I knew two things immediately:
1) I wanted the fetus out as soon as humanly possible.
2) I was terrified of what a surgical abortion would entail. But I was more terrified of carrying something dead inside of me for weeks, having no idea when or if a natural miscarriage would occur.
I juggled the bureaucracy, forced doctors to talk to each other, and about 30 hours later I was in an operating room, waiting for my D&C.
As soon as we learned that I would get the surgery that day, my husband and I took our daughter to her grandparents house to spend the weekend. All through that trip, I was on the internet over my phone, looking up everything I could find about the procedure: the process, the pain, the bleeding, the potential complications and recovery time. Everything was maddeningly specific and vague at the same time. You could spot for a few days or bleed for weeks; you might have a small bit of inconvenient cramping or you might need major pain killers. You might or might not run a fever after the procedure.
All I really wanted, though, was one clear story from someone who had been through the process and could give me her experience, so I could get a better understanding of what it was like from a human perspective. And, frankly, so I would feel a little less alone.
In the end, I turned to twitter for support from my friends, even if they couldn’t provide me with insight into what I would be going through.
When Angie Jackson, a young mother who found out she was unexpectedly 6 weeks pregnant, turned to twitter after deciding on an abortion using RU 486, she didn’t just come for support, however. She decided to provide support for those who may follow her.
@antitheistangie: Don’t want to reignite a culture war, rather demystify abortion & calm fears. #livetweetingabortion b/c I was terrified
It started quietly with a few tweets about taking RU486, spacing out her painkillers, waiting for the bleeding to start. She was receiving supportive tweets from others who were checking to see how she was feeling, thanking her for being open about the process, even one woman who had scheduled her OWN abortion for the following week and was hoping to see what it would be like to have a medically-induced abortion.
Now Angie’s experience has become a stream of information, fact checking, debate and emotional appeal. And somewhere in there, Angie still had an abortion.
Much of what she was trying to do: give a personal account of what using RU486 is like physically and mentally, has been lost in the flood of back and forth over what constitutes “life,” who had more rights when it came to a mother or a fetus, the noise of mistaken scientific “facts” like “life begins at conception” or that abortion causes depression or breast cancer. It also, even more sadly, was lost under a deluge of personal attacks on her, ranging from her irresponsibility (though she was on 3 forms of birth control, and chose to abort because, among other reasons, she had a special needs son to care for and her last pregnancy nearly killed her), her mental health (“helpfully” urging her to seek psychiatric assistance), or telling her repeatedly that she’s either desperate for attention or incapable of shame, as if choosing to have an abortion was something about which any woman needs to be ashamed.
Angie had a myriad of perfectly acceptable reasons to seek an abortion, but the one that anti-choice activists tried the hardest to drown out was the best one.
“I don’t want to be pregnant.”
Her swarm of Twitter followers (myself among them) managed, in attempting to shout out each other, to bury her real story of what the process was like. Her story managed to spread anyway, from The Frisky, to Salon, to ABC News (my favorite tweet from last night “WTF is the Alan Colmes show?”.
Although the usual anti-choice suspects called her a publicity hound (oddly enough injecting themselves into her stream in order to try and get attention for themselves as well), it managed to raise awareness for another pro choice issue; pro choicers who are uncomfortable with speaking about abortion out loud.
[S]omething about this woman’s conversation drew me in. She wasn’t proud or defensive or particularly defiant with people who criticized her (and there were plenty). She was simply confident in her decision. And tired of the idea she should be ashamed of it.
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We debate the abortion issue, but women do not talk about their abortions. And considering a million happen ever year, that’s a lot of not talking.
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Yes, Angie’s holding us all in contempt, even those on the left who say they support a woman’s right to choose, but still somehow manage to make her feel like she’s done something… not quite right.
Angie’s telling us her abortion is not a sad thing and not a cause for celebration and not something she feels compelled to hide out of fear or shame.
It’s just what she felt she needed to do, for her own health and well-being.
Very few people commenting on her posts talk about that. Instead, most (especially those on the anti-choice side) have dragged out the same, tired arguments that never get us anywhere. The arguments we will never, ever resolve.
Angie has presented us with a new paradigm, a whole new field for discussion. And I hope it moves well beyond #livetweetingabortion.
Although the media attention is growing, Angie’s experience is nearly done. After five days, she reported this morning that the bleeding is nearly complete. Hopefully at some point the tweets of the experience itself can be recompiled to help women who want real imput on what to expect should they undergo an abortion using RU486.
I’m thankful I live in a country where I can have an abortion legally and safely. I’m proud to have made the right choice for my family, despite enormous social and political pressures. I’m #livetweetingabortion because this isn’t something that should be done in the dark or in secret.