How to Tell Your Partner What You Really Want in Bed

Improving sexual communication is key to having better sex and feeling empowered in your sex life.

[ILLUSTRATION: Couple in bed confused about what they want]
Talking about sex is fundamental to really good sex. Shutterstock

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Try as they might, Salt-N-Pepa’s message never quite got through—“let’s talk about sex” rarely elicit the kind of enthusiastic response the hip-hop trio’s fire track did back in 1990 because, well, no one really likes to talk about sex.

Sure, sex is everywhere in the United States. It’s on our TV screens, our smartphones, our computers. Yet most people find it an awkward and embarrassing topic of discussion, and therein lies the problem: While it’d be swell if our partners were sexually psychic, the truth is that if we want really good sex, we’re gonna have to talk about it.

Besides, that’s literally how consent happens, says sex educator Cassandra Corrado, the host of Rewire News Group’s You Deserve Good Sex series on YouTube.

In the latest episode, Corrado offers advice for how to make the “sex talk” less like that middle school lecture from your parents and more like a precursor to that really, really good sex we mentioned.