This is a personal blog.

I want to share some stories. They are the stories of teenaged girls that I know. These girls are not estimates. They are not samples of the population. They are just three teenaged girls that I know.

The reason I am sharing these stories is because a young friend of mine recently lost her virginity. Thinking about her…her innocence; the purity of her Spirit; the way she smiles and looks like ten again…thinking about her made me mourn for the loss of a certain part of her life, and pray that she will make the right decisions to protect her life. Thinking of her made me think of other young girls that I know who are just like her: struggling to define and come to terms with their sexuality. As much as we speak about the politics behind sexuality, my friend made me remember that at the center of policy lie young women and men with real stories.

This is a decision that this teenager has been contemplating for a while now. She has a teenaged boyfriend whom she loves. She has the love and friendship of a mother with whom she is able to share her thoughts and feelings about sex. Her mother has made her aware of, and they have discussed the variety of choices open to her: (preferably) to abstain; to protect herself; to not "go all the way." She has chosen to become sexually active.

The second girl that I know is fifteen years old. A couple of weeks ago she believed that she was pregnant. She was scared about this possibility. She is in a relationship with a man many years her senior. They live together. She left her mother's house to avoid being sexually abused by her step-father. This older man has taken her in and provides for her financially. She wants to find a way out, but she really feels like she nowhere to go for assistance. She feels that she no choice but to be sexually active.

At fourteen years of age and five months pregnant, the third girl is well aware of her choices to prevent her from "repeat pregnancies." She attends a Jamaican organization that allows teenaged mothers to complete their education and to receive developmental counselling, with one of the core areas of concern being "delaying unwanted pregnancies." Despite this, she tells me that she doubts she would use a condom with her partner. She tells me he won't use them and that she wouldn't push him to, because he might think she has another "man." She says that she suspects he is sexually active with other people.

These girls are real people. They are real young women who are grappling with the feelings and consequences of their entry into sexual relationships. They have all of the fears, strengths, insecurities, and challenges that make up many of our lives. They each have had a different experience with sex, and they each deserve a health care system that is responsive to their needs and challenges.

Statistics have highlighted the particular risks for sexually active female adolescents, particularly those involved in relationships with older men. In response to these and other red flags that define the sexual lives of many teenagers, the Government of Jamaica has implemented programs such as JA-STYLE aimed at helping adolescents to make wise sexual decisions. All of these are wise and necessary efforts, but I want more.

I want these stories to be heard. I want the young women and men who these policies seek to help to become the ‘experts' on adolescent sexuality who are informing us about it, instead of us informing them. I want an interactive approach that does not berate teenagers for feelings the ways they do. I want my young friend and the other young girls who may be like her, or vastly different to have options, and to have a platform on which they can speak about their fears, concerns and challenges. In which they can make wise decisions and have a number of options that show them how to protect their lives.

The stakes are high. We need to protect our children. No matter how we feel about adolescent sexuality, the fact remains: real girls and boys are choosing to, or being forced to, enter into sexual relationships every day. The stories are numerous. We need to listen. Lives depend on it.